31in31 - May 2nd - "Eat My Hat"

So I'm coming back from a dinner last night, and one thing more constant about Vancouver than fine dining is the ever present homeless people begging for money for one thing or another. I was a little intrigued with this scraggly bearded man who came up to me, you got to hand it to these people for constantly coming up with something new to try to get drug or booze money. I saw him approaching me, and instinctively attempt to subvert his interception. He jinked left, I jinked opposite, he then locked in and I was unable to avoid any longer. This is how the conversation went, keeping in mind I had a few glasses of wine for dinner and was feeling "fine".

He starts, "Mister, Do you have a few bucks for me? I am so hungry I could eat my hat"

I said, "Eat your hat? Man, you have to be pretty hungry" His hat, a baseball type with a rainbow on it, only it didn't look a rainbow anymore it looked like a old piece of bacon, almost edible I thought grimly.

"Yea, I'm pretty damn hungry, got a few bucks?" he responded, obviously wanting to get to the point.

"I'll tell you what I'll do" I said smugly, "I'll give you five bucks, you give me your hat.. that way, you can eat, and you don't have to eat your hat." At the time I thought this was a good idea, but as I write this I'm thinking I should have just gave the better default answer.

"OK Mister, here ya go" he says as he lifts the dirty hat off his head with an even dirtier hand. He stretches it out and hands it to me, jutting it toward me in a dagger like motion. I took a look inside the hat from hell, and knew I had to stay away from it, I was calling his bluff after all.. and now he was calling mine. "Here you go" he says louder. I dug in my pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill, threw it in the hat.

"Keep the hat" I said, and walked away.. The moral of the story is, if someone is actually hungry enough to eat a hat, they be hungry enough to sell it..

Even during my time of enlightenment, I can be such a dumb ass.

Alex.


Stupid News Story of the Day

Thanks to Mr David Suzuki, Vancouver restaurants could stop serving wild salmon.. Click Here


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How is this real??