Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A New Challenge

I have a new challenge for myself.. and it's NOT going to be easy.

I am going to try a "31 posts in 31 days" campaign beginning on the 1st of May (Tomorrow)

I have been gettin a little lazy in the posting dept and this should pick up the pace a little.

So, everyday, for 31 days.. a new post. The quality might be suffering a little, but I'll give it a shot. Please be nice and comment on some ideas for me. I'll be really hurting at about the 10 post mark. ;-)

I hear the engine revving..

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

How My Brain Works Part 1 "The Hair Slaughter"

Most of you who know me, know that I tend to wait a little too long between getting my hair cut, as a matter of fact, I've had more pedicures than haircuts in the last while. (Yea.. you heard me correctly, but that's a whole different topic.) There are two reasons for the procrastinary attitude of this human inevitability. First and foremost, I'm a procrastinator. Second, it scares the shit out of me, and I'm not talking a phobia here, I'm talking a Stephen King level fear.

I remember getting my hair cut professionally for the first time, I was 13. The stylist asked me if my mom cut my hair prior, and I said Yes. She laughed, and I never let my mom cut my hair again. So it began, my defection from the scissors, bowl and white drop sheets of home to the shears and squirt bottles of the professional stylist. I never got a choice of haircut at home, but at the Stylist, I was granted options, a few of which where the "crew cut" look, the "spiked" look and last but not least.. the "feathered" look. I knew I could never go back.

It wasn't until recently that I began to develop a fear for the haircut. As I write this I am made conscious of the fact that this timing may coincide with the start of my Scary Movie Club.

Here's the deal; Every time I go I can't help but think that at any moment, the cutter is going to lose it and plunge the scissors into my cranium, death coming just seconds after seeing the horror unfold in the mirror across from me. (snipped the details, I actually wrote a good horror scene here but decided to cut it out due to content.. but it was good.) This isn't because I'm a horrible patron, not at all. I think everyone has a breaking point, and there's a small chance that the person who is cutting your hair will have her breaking point at that exact moment, and your head just so happens to be conveniently at the optimal position for an abrupt pin-cushioning. It could happen.

Maybe these scenarios are conjured subconsciously by looking at that stupid blue liquid in the glass jar with various combs and other weapons floating about. You know the one, called "Barbicide" for the love of everything.. Barbicide. May as well be called "Homicide" and have blood soaked scissors in them.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Hey U!


You're almost two weeks back with your blog.. let's get a freakin move on. I'm starting to feel alone here in cyberspace


You need to get your blog up or I'll start posting video of your guitar hero contest crash and burn. Yea that's right.. a threat.


Get new pants. Those green pants have got to go my friend... time for something new.


I need you to approve 200 / year on the family budget to help upgrade me to a new blog spot. I'm getting close to done with the freebie stuff. Besides, Wordpress has more features.


Thanks for being a loyal reader, but I think it's time for you to start your own gig. GIG IT UP SIS!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

20th Letter of the Alphabet, Letter T

"T is the letter after S, the letter before U, and if you don't like it (expletive) you". I asked him to send me a description and that was what he gave me. Sounds like a smart ass if you ask me, but who am I talk really? I remember giving answers like this in school all the time. I wish I could find out where all my teachers lived, and give them a heart shaped box of Ferraro Rocher chocolates, you know just to say I'M SORRY. I WAS A MISGUIDED CHILD, MISGUIDED BY THE HORRORS OF SKOOL. I really didn't like elementary, and not because of the teachers, but it's because when I was in grade three my brother who was in grade four took my remote control jeep I got for my birthday and jammed nine volt batteries where AA batteries are supposed to go and completely (expletive)'d it up. WASN'T TO HAPPY ABOUT THAT! This started a cascade of horrors for me culminating into the grand event that was graduation.

T is for "Transmutation"

everything you are and everything you were
your number has been called
fights, battles have begun
revenge will surely come
your hard times are ahead

you've got to be the best
you've got to change the world
and you use this chance to be heard
your time is now