Saturday, February 16, 2008

Mexicana Update Cinqo

After a week I have come to the realization that there are three distinct phases to an All Inclusive vacation. They are:

Phase One: "I-Can't-Believe-We're-Here" Phase
This is the woohoo drink drink drink phase, the time where you just bathe in the glory that is tropical bliss. You think of how cold it was when you left and now the only ice you see is in your whiskey and coke. You get up and dance with the mariachie band and make best freinds with the bartender. This is the best of the three phases, but alas it only lasts for two days or so. You now move along to phase two.

Phase Two: The "We're Here" Phase.
This is when you settle in a groove, you know where everything is, and you've settled down in the drinking dept due to the trouble you got in the first phase. This is when you go on tours, enjoy the scenery and stay by the pool cause you figured out that the beach looks far better than it feels and the kids dont like being pounded by waves. The mariachie band is still fun but you're not getting out of your chair anymore. This phase lasts about two to three days.

Phase Three: The "I-Can't-Beleive-We're-Still-Here" Phase.
This is the dreaded time near the end where you've decided to give up drinking for the rest of your life, you feel betrayed by the Sun giving you a nice warm welcome only to burn you to an incinerate pork rind and then laugh at you while you wince in pain everytime you move. This is also the time where you want to slam the mariachie trumpet on the ground the next time you hear La CooCorache and say "Does Mexico Only HAVE THREE SONGS!!!??? LEARN SOMETHING NEW ALREADY YOU SOMBREO WEARING AMIGO WANNABEES!!! SHUT UP ALREADY!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING SACRED!!" Also, the food is starting to be the same, and you begin to loathe the phase oners around you, or what i like to call the "white parade" due to the untanned skins. Well, i look forward to being home!!
Sent from my Blackberry, but notice no spelling mistakes. I don't make excuses.


Brian said...

Alex, having just returned from mexico and now having some time to reflect on the days past, I can picture myself in all three phases - defined purely by the amount of time spent with a drink in hand! Same time next year?

Nel said... continually crack me up. I have been through all those phases and can totally relate...welcome home!!

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