Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Oatmeal.. the benefits

I've been oatmealing now for two weeks. Oatmeal in the morning, that's the deal. (save for weekends, I think that's fair)
How do I feel different? VERY Interesting things have been happening to me as a result of Ray's Oatmeal challenge.

So.. The Top 10 Changes Oatmeal Has Made To My Life Thus Far

Number Ten
Colors are becoming more brilliant. I don't know if this is just a coincidence, but I'm starting to notice green grass, colorful blooms in the trees, and bright yellow and red tulips have somehow appeared in the back yard.

Number Nine
It's staying light longer. I was noticing this the other day when I was at Mike and Cathy's for dinner. It was 10pm and still appeared quite light out. Nice. I like! Do you like?

Number Eight
Gave me a reason to blog again..

Number Seven
My KIDS have become smarter, and inquisitive. "Dad, what is that you're eating?" "It's Oatmeal" "That doesn't look so good, it looks bruised" "That's the blueberries" "It looks gross" "It's actually not that bad" "You're lying to us" "Want to try some?" "Yea, I want to try that like I want to try mixing barium hydroxide octahydrate crystals with dry ammonium chloride.. no thanks Dad."

Number Six
Allowing me to come the undenial conclusion that Jacob is actually a time spliced version of JOHN LOCKE. Yea, that's right.. Jacob = John. If you don't know what i'm talking about, watch Lost. Learn Lost. Love Lost.

Number Five
Somehow, due to the consumption of oatmeal, and through the phenomenon known as "Transference" I was able to make Leo addicted to something. Ask her if your interested. We might need to do an intervention, followed by a few episodes of oh, I dunno, GREY'S ANATOMY? (Interesting note about the show: the creator once studied to be a monk, and after his six months vow of silence, came to the realization that all of his follow monks were gay, which made him decide it wasn't for him. An Anagram of "GREYS ANATOMY" is "GAY MONASTERY")

Number Four
I became an anagram machine. I can find hidden messages in almost anything you throw at me. For example.. an anagram of OATMEAL is "EAT LOAM" and if you think "UNFIT ANABOLITIC BIOLOGISM " is just a fluke that it's anagram is "SUBLIMATION BLOGIFICATION" you'd be wrong, way wrong my friend. Don't underestimate the anagram machine. I rock the khasba, over and over, and then.. when I'm done.. i'll rock it again.

Number Three
I don't wear sunglasses as much as I used to. Mostly due to the fact that I forgot where I put mine.

Number Two
Figured out what a "Khasba" is, you know from the song, Rock the Khasba? Well turns out it's actually spelled "Casbah" and it's a castle or palace in northern Africa. Who woulda thought.
"Now over at the temple Oh! they really pack em in. The in crowd say its cool to dig this chanting thing. But as the wind changed direction, the temple band took five. The crowd caught a wiff of that crazy casbah jive"

AND THE NUMBER ONE CHANGE OATMEAL HAS MADE TO MY LIFE..
Made food tastes better, way better.. well.. compared to oatmeal.

5 comments:

Tan said...

Alex, I only have this to say...Perhaps Oatmeal is your "REAL SOUL MATE."

There's an anagram in there, smartypants!

Alex said...

Oatmeal Rules? ;-)

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Anonymous said...

Man, really want to know how can you be that smart, lol...great read, thanks.

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