Tipping

The other day our family went out for dinner to the local restaurant "Montana's" in Westhills/Signal Hill area. We have been to this restaurant several times before, and the service is hit and miss at best. There are times we get fantastic service, and other times the service sucks big, but the last time it was just abysmal.
I can get into detail about why, but long story short the server we had should not be serving. Horrible. At the end of the dinner I wrote a big fat ZERO where the tip should have been on the credit card receipt. I haven't NOT tipped in a long time, as a matter fact I think the last time I didn't tip was when my mom asked me to pay for a lunch, and when you're eleven years old, you don't have much change in your pocket, so I just didn't have enough money for a tip.
I know that server's wages are calculated with tip in consideration but is this where the problem begins? Or is it just that we tip too much too often forcing the restaurateur to pay his servers less? I'll have some chicken and egg please.
Why do we tip?
We tip because we are supposed to. It's expected of us. 15% - 20% is the expected gratuity on a dinner, and no it's not "double the GST" anymore, that would be considered below the minimum. If you show up with a group at some restaurants "a 20% gratuity will be automatically included in the bill". Really? That tells me something. That tells me that you suck at hosting groups, and as a result of said suckiness you aren't tipped the maximum, so you'll just tip yourself. I'm avoiding these establishments like the bubonic plague.
A few years ago we go for a sushi lunch with a group of six. The service sucked as usual, and we paid as a group and left a small tip. The next time we go with the same group and the lady refused to give us a group bill, she billed us all individually and then said,
"We charge you separate because last time you not tip enough" No kidding? Last time we not tip enough cause you not give service enough. Needless to say, it was the last time we ate there.
Servers expect tips, and we, the unconfrontational mass, just throw money at them, further solidifying the justification to standardize the gratuity structure. I say, enough is enough. I say we redefine the tip. The following is a list of guidelines I will attempt to adhere to throughout the holiday season:

Alex's Tip Guidelines:

1. All tips start at zero. I am going to start making assumptions your boss is paying you for the work you were hired for. If you are working for someone as a server, you should be compensated fairly as a server, and not as 80% of a server. If you are being short changed because you are not receiving a tip, blame your boss.. not me. I'm not being cheap, I'm paying exactly what the menu is asking me to pay for your food, I don't haggle this price, and neither should your boss when it comes to your pay.

2. I'll decide what to tip. Don't tell me what the industry standard is cause guess what, you're not industry standard either. I've been known to tip over 25% if the service is great, but if you are having a bad ass day and decide to take it out on your patrons, guess what, no more tip. And if you hate your job? No tip. Bring me milk instead of cream for my coffee then ask me why I wanted cream and not milk? NO FRIGGEN TIP!

3. Buffet and Pick ups. No tip. If I am serving myself, that kind of makes you a moot point. You will not get a tip for me having to get my own food, and for the love of everything sacred, please don't expect a tip if I am picking up my food from your counter to take home. Pearl Express is a PICK UP ONLY restaurant and yet, when I pick up and pay debit, the debit machine asks me how much I should tip. Hey I know, how about negative 20%? Dumbasses.

4. Service is one thing, food is another. but if either of them suck.. No Tip. If the service is great, but the food sucks, I'm not paying for it. If I tell the server the food sucked and still get charged for it? two words. No tip. Why should we have to pay for food that sucked? This is a no brainer. If you did not like your steak cause it contained too much fat, you should offered a new one or have it removed from the bill. If neither options happen? I will use the gratuity or lack there of to satisfy the differential, aka.. no bloody tip.

We as Calgarians are beginning to accept lower standards in hospitality, and it's all due to the labour shortage forcing the industry to hire bottom-of-the-barrels. All one has to do is go to Vancouver and Lower Mainland area of BC to see the difference, to get a glimpse into the ghost of hospitality past. It's the "Hospitopia" where servers actually like their jobs, try hard to earn the tip, and do a damn good job at it.

I sit over my cold soup, look west, and sigh.

AS.

Changes to my blog

No more anonymous comments. Registered users only ;-) AND all comments will be moderated, so unless approved they just won't show.

Getting a little too confused as to who says what. And YES I know you can create a fake a gmail account and still post anonymously, but at least you have to work for it this time, and I'll most likely punt the comment anyway.

That being said.. Here's a great video:

Went to Starbucks today...

and said cockily,

"I'll have a Super Grande Quadruple Espressinoso Light Blueberries And Cream Half-Soy Full City Roast Nonfat Half-caf Organic Caramel Vanilla Iced Double-Shot Macchiato Black Tea Chai Foamed Shaken Sugar-free Cinnamon Eggnog Dolce Peppermint Gingerbread Pumpkin Spice Latte Thrice Blended Extra Hot With Three Ice Cubes Hold The Whipped Cream, One Sweet'N Low, and One Nutrasweet.. please"

Lady said.. "You wanted a Super Grande Quadruple Espressinoso Light Blueberries And Cream Half-Soy Full City Roast Nonfat Half-caf Organic Caramel Vanilla Iced Double-Shot Macchiato Black Tea Chai Foamed Shaken Sugar-free Cinnamon Eggnog Dolce Peppermint Gingerbread Pumpkin Spice Latte Thrice Blended Extra Hot With Three Ice Cubes Hold The Whipped Cream, One Sweet'N Low, and One Nutrasweet?"

Thinking she was on to me I said

"Yes please"

she said

"why would you want it extra hot and then three ice cubes?"

I said

"the cubes are to cool it down"

she said

"why extra hot then?"

knowing I was beat I tip my head to the coffee master and say,

"I'll have a grande vanilla latte"

she smiles.

Calgary to Banff

How about another time lapse? OK. This one is Calgary to Banff in four minutes, shot on sunday. Kinda speaks for itself. See if you can catch the cop in a speed trap soon after the banff park gates. ;-)

A HUGE Thank you!!!

It's not every day I feel this grateful, so you may not see these posts very often. I have never been more thankful than I am today. A quick little bit of background before I get into why I feel this way.
A while ago I run into an issue with my debit card, seems it was wearing out a little on the magnetic strip. Over time it got so bad that Safeway started to reject the attempts. I knew that I had a credit card backup incase my debit card was unreadable which gave me justification to wait before obtaining a new card. Recently though my personal credit card and my corporate credit card have been showing similar disabilities, I knew the time was close to replace them, and yet I seem to always have chosen the easy road to a familiar little town called Procrastinationton. (If you haven't visited, you should!)
Further adding to my magnetic card stripe problem, other issues were creating my wallet into a timebomb. My drivers license is worn and dirty, my safeway card and my airmiles card were neutered from trying to open locked doors (legally mind you) and my wallet itself was a torn and ripped and ready for replacement.
That being said, I would like to say a HUGE THANK YOU to the very pleasant human being who stole it last night. Please consider the $60 as "thank you" tax.
There seems to have been a little mistake however, Leona did not require a refresh of her purse / wallet and would like it back. If you choose not to give back her purse.. you will be hunted. You have three days.

To and From Work, TIME LAPSE

Who doesn't get excited over those two words.. TIME LAPSE!!
Kind of reminds me of always asking the teacher to play a movie backwards, I always would love watching movies either backwards or fast. Normal Shmormal.
Oh and in case you're wondering what the dude is singing in dutch, it's something about being late for work again, and getting fired as a result. The "Kadang Kadang" is the sound of the train he is riding, but he is frustrated because the train won't go any faster and there is nothing he can do but eat his gouda sandwich and herring on the train before getting to work, and.. getting fired. Sad song, but it's kinda funny to hear this guy singing dutch. I laugh.

Post Secret of the Week:

Vegas Blog

They say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas..
I say, what happens in Vegas gets blogged.

vegas.sublime.ca


Updates will be blogging out in real time so check back often.
I apologize in advance. ;-)

V Day

For fourteen years I've wanted to go
Fourteen years of "maybe"
Stick around here and watch it snow?
Screw that.. I'm going to Vegas Baby!

And from Post Secret..

This is from one of my favorite blogs Post Secret. What's funny about this secret is that IF TRUE, it is only known by the writer, the celebrity, the wealthy young woman, and last but not least.. HIS / HER BOSS. All it takes is for one of them to read this secret.

A Calling

Contristo

It didn’t get light this morning,
Light never came
Dark hung around for a sinister game
At first Dark was losing, but Light took a blow
Dark can be sneaky, as we all know
He cast a shadow, a shadow of rain
And finished Light off with emotional pain
It didn’t get light this morning,
Light never came
Dark is an evil, staking its claim.

AS

A Thanksgiving Limerick

This be da day to say thanx

We gotz all the ching in da banx

Got three of da kids

tryed to sell but no bids

Me thinkin itz time to shoot blanx

Tao of the Week, Last week of Sept 2007

Crrraaazzzzy week. Good news bad news stories for you.

Good news was that I played in a poker tournament this weekend with Dan Ray and Scott E. There were 200 players and I finished in a very respectable 11th place. That bad news? Prizes didn't start till 9th place.

Good news was that I my 5 year old daughter is learning how to dial a phone. Two days ago, she punched in a number then before pressing talk she showed me the number asking "who's it was". The bad news.. the number was six six six. I said, don't dial that number, it's long distance.

Good news was that my kids are good at "pretending" play, the other day they were playing "Tim Horton's". The bad news is that my 5 year old pulled up to the imaginary Tim Hortons in her imaginary car and said not so imaginarily.. "holy crap the line up is long"



TAO OF THE WEEK:

A good game doesn't reveal it's outcome, surprises are the spice of life.

Only Five Months LEFT!!

I can't wait. Perhaps the most anticipated moment of the year.
Hint:
Living on some tiny step enlightens a soldier on nightly frights of ultimate recourse.

Yea baby.

Tao of the Week - Sept 22nd

Welcome to the Tao of the Week, this is where I put meaning to my life based on things that have happened to me during the seven day week, good and bad. This, at the very least, will give you an idea of the things that happen to me and the me happening to things.IF that doesn't make sense, read on.

Cool Things

1. Langley Starbucks.

Starbucks in Langley is so much nicer than any other starbucks location I've been to, they are always so polite and really seem to appreciate the patronage, unlike Calgary. In Calgary you basically get a coffee and bird flip.

2. Icecubes

Crazy Things

1. Cops for Cancer

If you've ever been to Langley you know how challenging it is getting through downtown on a saturday afternoon, it takes about five times longer to do anything simply based on the traffic around the area, and when one of the many daily trains comes through the heart of downtown on the CN mainline, the places segues from seizure to all out paralysis. It's crazy and frustrating, especially if you're used to the traffic situation in Calgary.

If that's not bad enough.. enter the "Tour de Valley".

Saturday morning, prior to leaving the in-laws house to run a few errands in town, I see a cop on a motor cycle fly by with lights flashing. It catches my attention. Then about 13 more cops on motor bikes come roaring by followed by ambulances and more cop cars, then about 15 cyclers, then 5 more motorbikes, support vehicles and two more cop cars. It was the Cops for Cancer "Tour de Valley". My first thought was wow, that's a lot of support for just a few guys riding bikes. 10 minutes later I take the car into Langley to pick up a few things, it should only take me 2o minutes. Two and half hours later I return, and I didn't even get everything done. What a complete joke. I met the tour de valley four times in Langley. I soon found out what all the support cops were doing. They would close up all the intersections to make way for the 15 cyclists to snake their way back and forth through Langley, an already saturated city, in order to "raise awareness". Well, raise awareness they did. Idiots.

Hey I know! Let's JAM UP A CITY FOR A FEW HOURS YEA THAT'LL WORK, MAYBE PEOPLE WILL GIVE MONEY! WE'RE COPS! WE HAVE THE POWER TO SHUT DOWN INTERSECTIONS, AND NO ONE CAN SAY ANYTHING CAUSE WE ARE THE ALL POWERFUL OMNIPOTENT GIFT TO THE NATION. HOW COME WE HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?? THIS IS BRILLIANT!!!

People were pissed. Horns were not honking in support, they were honking in rage. Somebody and perhaps a bunch of people thought this was a good idea. How does this happen?

The Tao of the Week - Sept 14th.

Tao of the Week for Sept 7th - 14th.

Welcome to the Tao of the Week, this is where I put meaning to my life based on things that have happened to me during the seven day week, good and bad. This, at the very least, will give you an idea of the things that happen to me and the me happening to things.
IF that doesn't make sense, read on.

Cool Things

1. Dinner @ Dan and Jen's. Very good italian food perfectly matched with a Chianti and good conversation. This is always a very cool thing to do for me, I enjoy this more than anyone knows.

2. Dinner @ Ray and Tan's. So, twice in one week, hey what's family for, besides they have a wicked house, warm hospitality, a kitchen that makes Hell's kitchen look cold, and a risotto that flows like.. lava. This was also where I met a new love in my life, Gorgonfreakinzola. I am pleased to learn that Tanya will be taking some cooking courses. What is already good can only become better.

3. Sunday with M&K and R&K. I love sunday guests, and I really love those that feel comfortable enough to stay the afteroon, then leave, and come back 30 minutes later with a dump truck load of Chinese food, then stay for dinner. Loved it.

Crazy Things

1. I saw this very old Asian lady in Chinatown, I mean she was older than religion. She was all hunched over and moving slower than cold risotto in a black bean sauce. She couldn't have stood taller than four and half feet. When I walked by her I had to smile. On her head was a black movie promotional baseball cap that read "The Grinch" in bright green.

2. Picture this. A homeless guy is riding a bike on the sidewalk, and perched on the handlebars is a homeless woman, but not just any woman, she looks 72 years old and is about the size of a 5 year old, and she had this cigarette jutting out of her mouth which looked huge for some reason. Like a big cigarette if there is such a thing. Anyway, she's wearing this white coat with little hairy tassels all over it, and can't help but think she looks like a parakeet, that smokes and wears glasses. If that's not bizarre enough, dudes that's riding the bike is munching on a most likely previously discarded donair from the 1970's. So, we have stale donair eating dude riding a bike with crazy small bird looking old big cigarette smoking homeless grandma on the handlebars. What happens next may need a disclaimer. Two homeless guys walking towards them kind of block them, dude on bike wiggles around them, perched grandma squawks something unintelligable, and dude steals dude's donair. Dude then takes bite of donair, makes loud noise and spits out donair bite, then throws down donair on ground. Dude is now off bike and perched grandma becomes unperched. I hope to walk through this mess without being accosted, but grandma comes over to me and asks in a squeaky voice if I have any drugs. I said what do I look like.. Dr. freakin Scholls? later I laughed cause Dr. Scholls is a shoe insert.
That... was crazy.

The Tao

Meaning is found not of oneself but by an interaction with others.
Understanding is lost not on oneself but by observing the interaction of others.

AS

Skinny on the Blog Posting

It's not that I haven't been constructing blog entries lately, It's just that my latest posts were never published, and are safely hidden in "draft" mode. I haven't really had the guts to release them to the lions.. yet. But holy crap when I do, the universe might collapse on itself in a reverse big bang effect, similar to what might happen if one meets his or herself during time travel, it's just not a good idea. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm going through some massive metamorphosis or anything, but I do feel a change happening, a whole lot of getting older mixed in a large wooden salad bowl with four packages of starting-not-to-put-as-much-care-into-what-people-think and topped off with finely shredded doubt, chopped pecans, ego and goat cheese, resulting in a gorgonzola of esculent brow raising posts.
Promise me that if I get hit by a bus, or meet some untimely end in the near future, you'll have to read some of those posts.

AS

Sierra Lima - The Hotel

Adam sits on an old bed, the rusted out frame barely holding up his weight. Tuffs of cotton stuffing jut out of the stained mattress, worn from decades of puke and other unmentionable bedtime mishaps. Shards of light shoot through the holes of an old piece of rotted plywood nailed precariously over a broken window, lighting up invisible dust particles floating through the putrid air. His boots sat flat on a dusty hardwood floor covered with empty booze bottles, used syringes, blackened spoons and other objects one would rather just imagine weren’t there. Against the cigarette smoke stained wall stood an old bedside table with the drawer hanging open, a forgotten Gideon bible it’s only contents, probably untouched since it’s placement. Does anyone ever read these? Probably could have done a few occupants of this room some good, Adam thinks as he continues to scan his new surroundings. A single hotel room with a double bed. It was probably a nice stay in its day, hundreds of dollars a night, now a condemned building used by the crap of society, but it was perfect. Adam looks at his watch, it’s 2:33pm. He has exactly one hour and seventeen minutes.
Feeling quite different than he thought he would, Adam gets to work. One hour was more than enough time to complete the tasks he practiced over and over, but it was always better to allow for more time than not enough. This was a one shot deal. Get it done, get out. One hour. He starts by opening up the face of his watch, carefully dials a series of codes. A flashing green arrow with the digits “5.2m” appear, and after holding his wrist flat and steady, the arrow points east towards a closed closet door about 5 meters away. Standing up, he feels disoriented, like he’d be drinking heavy and this was the worst hangover ever. Beaumont told him he would feel this way, and that it would quickly subside, but the walk to the closet feels undeniably strange. He is not just in a foreign place. The closet opens with a stuck crack. This closet hasn’t been open in years, he thinks, a suitable placement, and a lot closer than anticipated, more time saved, damn they’re good. On the floor the metal case stood with the handle propped up in the carry position, like someone just placed it there and walked away. He picked it up and carried it back to the bed. The thought of yesterday’s meeting came back to him, the instructions, the repercussions of failure, all carefully planned by Mr. Bhig, to whom Adam was ready to prove his worth, as well to Beaumont and to the others members of the Sierra Lima.

Weekly Joke

Every night, Joe would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rank. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time, he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left.The fourth night Joe didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Joe, pumped his eyes shut and left him in a heap on the living room floor.The following day, Joe went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. "What can I do?" he pleaded."Not much" the doctor replied. "There's just a nasty bug going around."