Wednesday, July 4, 2007

MMMmmmmm Subway.... again.

It's 11:30am, my stomach reminds me I didn't have any breakfast. I stand up and ask a coworker what he wants to do for lunch, "Subway?" is the inflected reply. I grimace, memories come back to me of the last time I was at this subway.
"Ya whatever." I respond.
"Let's got then"
10 minutes later we are standing in the Subway line and I immediately notice the absence of the sandwich terrorist. Perhaps she got a new job, or was fired.. or accidentally blew herself up. I didn't know, didn't really care to tell you the truth. I was hungry.
Pete notices a sign on the Subway, advertising a new sandwich called the "Lobster" sandwich. "100% pure lobster meat" it states. Sounds good.. real good. Pete and I being fans of the seafood sub opt for the lobster sub today.
Pete orders first. "I'll have a one of those lobster subs on 12" wheat"
I order second. "I'll have the same please.. whatever he's having"
So far so good. Our subs are coming together nicely. Something has to wrong, it always does here. I look over at Pete's sub. It's almost done, fully loaded with a little sprinkling of salt and in the paper, cut and wrapped. No spills, Bob's your freakin uncle. Lickity Split. the perfect sub. Mine is ready for veggies. After seeing the perfect execution of Pete's sub I know my odds are good.. or bad.. depends on which school you come from for probability studies. I ask for everything but no green pepper. It's not like I don't like green pepper, I just don't think it should be in a sandwich like a potato. The veggies arrive right on schedule and everything is looking perfect.
"Sauces? Salt? Pepper?" I am asked with a smile
"A little mustard, some salt and pepper" I reply with raised eyebrow.
I'm suspicious. A perfect sandwich? not here.. no way.
"For here or to go?"
"To go please.."
I am handed a perfectly rolled sandwich, handed to me in a bag with three napkins. I didn't even need to ask for an extra napkin. (I tend to spill a lot.. so what.. i said. SO WHAT?)
I have a grin on my face. I'm looking for the hidden camera. I'm sure I'm on a new TV reality shock show. This never happens. They may as well handed the sub over on a silver fricken platter. Something was wrong, and here's what happened. As best as I remember it.
We shuffle over to the cashier. Pete is first to pay.
Subway guy: "What did you order"?
Pete: "Foot long Lobster Subway"
Subway guy: "That will be 16.90"
Pete: "Oh sorry, I'm just paying for the one sandwich"
Subway guy: "Yes, one foot long lobster, 16.90"
Pete: (stunned silence)
Alex: (grin turns into laughter)
Subway guy: "Price for foot long lobster is 16.90"
Subway guy: "Yes, price over there see?" (points to a small price in far corner of menu opposite to line)
Subway guy: "Prrrice 16.90"
Pete: "$^#& *#*$&#* Q*&#&@*( shit &$#*& !@#!& #&*@)! ~!(!@"

Now I'm laughing pretty good at this point, just cause I was expecting something to wrong. After pete's display of displeasure, they knocked 25% off our subs.. to top things off, they didn't even taste all that great, well not seventeen dollars great. Dumbasses. You know what you can get in downtown Calgary for lunch for seventeen bucks? Well, how about three sunny lunches, or one all you can eat Indian Buffet, or one all you can eat Russian buffet, I mean the list goes on. Idiots.


Tan said...

Funny post. Btw, Bob is my freakin' uncle.

Tan said...

Oh...another thing. I once ordered just a basic turkey sandwich at Primal Grounds on 37th. She says, that'll be $9.50 please. I said, "What? For a sandwich!" - but I gave her my debit card anyways. " debit, sorry, cash only," she says. Long story short, she insisted I take the sandwich anyways and return later in the day to pay her the $10. Two trips to pay her $10 for a stupid sandwich. No thanks.

Alex said...

WOW! you didn't go back to pay???
that's a whole lot of awesome dripping out of awesomeness...

Tan said...

You're forgetting who you're talking to...I'm not that awesome. I said no to the sandwich and to the return trip with the cash. I may not be as legal as your wife but I'm a close second.

Anonymous said...

Well I bought the 6" lobster sub! Talk about misleading ads ... I expected lobster and ended up with a pink paste that had two specks of visible lobster meat. To top it off, the clerk who seemed put off at having to serve three customers in a row, smushed it into the bun. As I did not take four inches of rusty salad as a topping, my sandwich was mostly bread and this pink paste! Cost around $9.69 cents with the tax. I cannot believe that all subways are providing "fillers" yes it was indeed expensive mayonnaise. The commercials I kept seeing while watching Jay Leno are what got me interested in trying out the lobster sub. Too bad ... I like to think it was just this franchise taking the cheap road and not thinking long term. Anybody else experience this lobster "pink paste"? I'd like to think I am the only idiot who ever paid this much for such a disappointing sub ... Sharing what had not yet been digested :)