Monday, June 18, 2007

The corner grocery store.

I swear.. CO-OP is an acronym for Canada's Opressed Old People cause it seems to be the punching bag for the elderly of our community. Forgive me for my generalizations, I don't care, Something has to be said. Here are a few of my observations:


1. Old people can't count.

Excuse me for bitching, but the isle you're standing in says "EXPRESS LINE FIVE ITEMS OR LESS!" This means, look down at your little basket and count how many items you have. If you have more than you can count on one hand, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LINE! If you can't count how many items you have, chances are you HAVE TOO MANY ITEMS ANYWAY. A senior's discount DOES NOT MEAN discount items off your total item count. NOW MOVE ALONG!


2. Old people have waaaaay too many coins.

Why the frigg do old people empty the piggy bank before they do groceries?

"That'll be $11.43 please"

"Oh my, i think I have that hang on.."


"Here you go.."

"That's only $11.00"

"Oh dear, I have some pennies"


"there you go..hehe..got it now.. hehe..oh dear I'm missing bob barker"

YEA PRICE IS RIGHT FINALLY! HOLY! EVER HEARD OF INTERAC? CREDIT CARD? NO? HOW ABOUT A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL!!!!???

Coins are meant for two things: Vending machines and Parking meters. NO ONE CARES IF YOU HAVE EXACT CHANGE! NOW MOVE ALONG!


3. Old people can't make up the mind.

PLEASE!! DECIDE IF YOU WANT THE ITEM BEFORE YOU BRING IT TO THE TILL! Although the checkers are very nice people, they are paid to smile and be nice and to make sure you pay for what you buy. THEY ARE NOT YOUR PERSONAL GROCER FRIGGEN THERAPISTS, THEY DO NOT WANT TO HELP YOU DECIDE IF YOU WANT THE ROMAINE LETTUCE OR THE..WHATEVER LETTUCE. What they SHOULD do however, is HELP YOU COUNT YOUR ITEMS so you can MOVE TO ANOTHER LINE!


4. Old people buy weird things

They come to the till with stuff like diet ghostberry prune juice and ectoplasmic powered jelly powder and bulk particle accelerated antacids. The friendly checker has no idea resulting in probably one of the biggest fricken time wasters of all time, THE PRICE CHECK!

Checker: "I've never seen this before, it's not scanning"

Old person:

Checker: "I'll get a price for you, hold on"


Checker: "It's $4.23"

Old person: "Oh dear, I can't pay that, I only have about $3.00 in change"

Me: "MOVE A-FRICKIN-LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"




4 comments:

Bemyfriend said...

"My eyes are dim, I cannot see,
I have not brought my specs with me
I have not brought my specs with me."

They clearly remind you not once, but twice that they are basically blind, come on, give the poor ol'folks a chance!

jackolantern said...

YES I AGREE WHOLE HEARTEDLY!!
I once was doing my groceries and this elderly lady handed over about 50 coupons and just asked the cashier to check which ones were good

socklady said...

I am not sure if you have those Visa Check card commercials up in Canada but it reminds of that....everything is flowing super smooth in the store, everyone uses their check card...zip zip zippity zip...then suddenly one person decides to write an actual check and the whole system gets backed up...people bump into people...things stop flowing nicely...good comeercials btw and exactly what happens when there is an old person in the line...I know they are old and have seen alot of things etc...but come on! PAtience is obvioulsy not a virtue of mine hehe....

Ploodough said...

I work at a grocer and can't agree more! Solid post!