Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Kelowna Day One - It Sucks Here

So I'm in Kelowna today, yesterday, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. It sucks here. It's just Leo and myself here with Chris and Missy.. and no kids. When we got here, we had a sucky dinner made by Chris, with a few beer, which sucked cause beer sucks the big one. We then took a walk to the sucky beach just outside the sucky condo. Man does the condo SUCK! It sucks so bad, friggen tornado. Anyway I took my suckyass kite to the beach and flew it bad. I mean, it was real bad. The wind was sucking bigtime. I didn't have the needed 85 feet of beach for my lines so I had to stand in the sucky lake. Sucked, cause the sun was on my back and the choppy warm water was lapping up against my legs while I was flying my kite like a sucky champ. I made a bunch of people nervous with the violence of the air being torn and cut into a chop-sui of submission and domination all rolled up into one big fat sucky show of pure suckiness. Nervous people suck. I then had to go back to the condo to change cause my sucky shorts were wet.
What we did next really sucked. We went for a walk down the boardwalk to suckyass Rose's patio down the way, shared a large plate of nachos and had some sucky beer. The nachos sucked so bad, they were the suckiest nachos i've ever had, I mean they put jalapenos in the melted cheese. Who does that? Sucky people do. Then we went for more walking and stopped at a french bistro for a coffee and dessert. Usually I think french restaurants drip in 100% pure grade 1A awesomeness but this one sucked huge, it sucked like a vacuum on steroids. I had the Crème Brûlée and man, holy man, did that suck, but not as much as the cappuccino that accompanied it, we reached whole new levels of suckiness with that one.
Back at the condo, we play a game of Ticket to Ride, which kinda sucked, then went to bed.
I am now sitting on the balcony, the morning of day two, and the weather is looking like it might suck again.
I have to leave on friday. Man.. is that gonna be awesome, like Vanhalen concert awesome. I've never looked forward to something more in my life!


Tan said...

Alex, you suck...that post sucked wind. And just so you know, it's really sucky here too...your kids are sucking here too. Your parents are doing a sucky job of babysitting, they are all coming over for a sucky dinner made by sucky me tonite which totally sucks and I heard that last night their sleep sucked. Yesterday, the kids had a sucky time at the sucky playground. No one's happy, everyone sucks. parents are leaving today which totally sucks :)...He he...I'm going to go now and drink my coffee, which sucks by the way because it's from Tim Horton's. Hmmmm....this feels oddly liberating. Thanks Alex, you suck. :)

Anonymous said...

Yah man, Calgary sucks big time too. Rain all day, traffic down Grant Crescent never seems to stop, not even at night; drunks puking and dope-dealers noisely fighting, couple of bullet holes through Nathies window. Even so, have to keep the frigging bedroom window open because of the sucking stuffiness of this place. Imagine FOUR DAYS of this!!Can't wait for this ordeal to end and get back to Vancouver.

The Big DC said...

Speaking of Van Halen - you are probably as excited by the news as I am, but VH will be touring through Calgary again in early December. This time Roth is back as the frontman and Ediie's 16 year old kid is playing bass. How' bout you pick up a ducket and you ol' Eddie go double or nuthin?? You know you want to.

Alex said...

How about a hundred duckets?
No thank you. Although Sammy Hagar sucked massive, the worst of the show was Eddie, and I doubt his spawn will be any good either. I can honestly say that I wouldn't go to this show if I was paid to go.

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